Just the Tip


There was hardly any light on the street aside from the kick-back I pulled up on. A drunken gathering of friends spewing inebriated patterns of nonsense.

“What, is that your mom’s Hyundai faggot?” some dickhead muttered.

I laughed.

I don’t think that he knew I heard him, but I’m sure he didn’t care. Eventually three people piled into the back seat. It was late and I was tired. They rambled drunk nothings as far as I was concerned.

Their plan of action was nonexistent, I was just sitting there. They apologized about it taking so long. We’re waiting for one more, they said, a really drunk guy. I instantly eyed Hyundai’s biggest fan who greeted me upon arrival.

A guy with short brown hair sitting in the middle noticed the snacks and water in the doors. He was all excited and kept asking, what is that? He asked until someone answered. A friend told him if he touched it, it would cost him five dollars.

After he confirmed it several times that the water was in fact free, Bob the brunette opened it and guzzled it down. His friend grabbed the other bottle. I didn’t mind at all, that’s why I put them there. They were amazed.

“Ah bro, that’s fuckin’ awesome, don’t worry though, we’ll be ready real quick.”

He must’ve sensed I was growing impatient. I had been sitting there for at least ten minutes by that point.

“You’re awesome bro, we’ll hook you up. We’ll hook you up with a tip,” he faded in and out as he was maintaining several conversations at once. “A good tip.”

People came and went, swapping spots. Hold on, I’ll go get so and so, and never return.

“Just the tip,” Bobby Brown said.

I laughed.

Oh shit, he’s laughing he whispered to his friend. “Yeah, we’ll hook you up bro.”

I just wanted the ride to be over.

“I don’t got any cash though,” Buster Brown mumbled.

Some young woman approached the car bitching about the bunch bailing on everyone. They were trying to relocate to a bar or something. They all soon hopped out of the car—with free water.

I ended up driving the girl who ordered the ride and her dude home. I didn’t get a tip.

Not even the tip.

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